Here is a recent day coaching session that I recorded. It gives you a few ideas on how I go about coaching and how you can meet women during the day.
Here is my latest video – “How Do I Get A Girl To Like Me?”
This is a question that I am asked often, or more – “Chris, how do I get THIS girl to like me?” And when I hear that, I get worried. I get worried because most often the guy has forgotten about the bigger picture, and is blindly obsessed with one woman who may not like him, or who may not even know that he exists.
You cannot trick a girl into liking you, but what you can do is focus on your own growth and development, and become awesome – for YOU as much as for women.
Here I outline 3 things that I recommend when people ask me this. They are not popular pieces of advice because they are not tricks, but they are 100% true.
This is my most recent talk at the Lair Newbie Night. I discuss going out to approach women (what most guys do vs. what they should do), how to improve conversation and how to get working on your self-esteem. Enjoy!
It’s the age-old topic of argument – spending your dough on the ladies in exchange for (or in hopes of) getting some action. Of course, there is some validity to it – women are naturally attracted to security and resources as much as men are naturally attracted to perky boobs and tanned legs. But are lavish dates and shelling out the coin truly the best way the get the best ladies?
What does flaunting money get you?
For one, it gets you attention, no doubt about it. For two, it gets you followers. Let’s face it – people are attracted to shiny shit, and they will happily ride the money train as long as the doors are open. If a 4’ tall witchy-looking lass hit me up with “Yo sexy, wanna come on an all expenses paid, champagne flowing, trip to Italy?” – I’d say yes. But would I fuck the midget? No. No I would not. Would I even follow up and see her again? Yeah nah.
Given, that’s a weird hypothetical, but it explains an important point – don’t mix up attention with attraction.
One of the biggest myths in the dating world is that you need to go out to bars or clubs to meet women. You obviously, definitely, can meet women this way, it’s the timeless classic – going out to pick up! – but it’s not your only option. And no I’m not talking about online dating, I’m talking about meeting women during the day.
Today, or tomorrow, when you leave the house, just do one thing. Simply, look up. Pay attention to what is around you. Watch who walks past you on the street, look at more in the stores than the items for sale, lift your head from the newspaper on the train platform, get out of the office on your lunch break – just look around. You will notice something – yep, women are everywhere! And let me tell you one thing – every one of them that is single, is very likely in the same boat as you – really wanting to meet someone, but struggling to find the time, opportunity or ability to do so.
What is it that stops your normal, everyday guy from having the type of woman, or number of women, in his life that he truly desires? I believe that there are three main reasons. Three things that if attended to, any man would improve his ability with women.
1) Get your appearance up to scratch
This is constantly overlooked in both the pick-up community and general male population. You must get your appearance up to scratch and do the best with what you have in order to stand any chance of being successful with women. Looks count, period. Not for everything, but much more than most guys are willing to accept. A lot of guys, especially in the pick-up community, skip this part and go straight to approaching. But your success really starts well before you even open your mouth. Approaching definitely is great, however unless you’re looking up to at least decent (body, face, teeth, hair, and especially clothing), your return (girls) on investment (time/approaches) will remain low. You definitely do not need to be of model quality, but simply looking the best that you can will immediately improve how women respond to you, even if you’re not approaching and it’s only those in your social circle or at work.
2) Get out there and make it happen
The concept of going out to intentionally approach and meet women for most men is still something completely foreign. Most guys know that it could happen if they go out, but never put in any conscious effort to actually make it happen. They expect it to “just happen”. They do not designate time and effort into proactively meeting women. In short, they wait on fate.
Women are everywhere: bars, clubs, parks, streets, supermarkets, shopping malls, beaches, etc, and all of the single ones want to meet someone. At any point in time you can literally stand up and go out and meet someone. It may not be the first girl that you meet, nor the second or third, but if you commit to it and push through any sense of shame and anxiety in approaching, you will find yourself a lovely lady.