Blog - Page 5 of 7 - Melbourne Dating, Pick-up (PUA) And Lifestyle Coaching

Quick PUA Tips

Three quick tips for any guy on the path of PUA or betterment in the dating game.

PUABeginner tip – Start approaching. I know there are plenty of people reading this who are wondering where and how to start. It hasn’t started, until you’ve started approaching. Put aside a couple of hours, go out, and approach. Don’t get caught up in flashy game (i.e. 90% of what you see on YouTube), it really takes very little; a question, a hello – you don’t need to be direct or jump around front of her. Commit to an approach before the girl is front of you. This is the key. Too many guys are going out to “try”. When you allow yourself to ‘try’ you’ve already given yourself passage to pussy out (hey you still tried!). No. Decide that you will commit to doing this before you even see her – “When I get in there, I’m going to talk to the first group of girls that I see. Before I go the bar, before I drop off my coat, I’m 100% in” Then you just do it. You turn off your emotions, turn off your ANTs (automatic negative thinking) and do it. And forget what happens. Every approach is a step on the journey. Who cares how it goes. Read more

Top 15 Roadblocks to Success With Women

Here are, in my opinion, the top 15 roadblocks that men face when trying to improve their success with women. Note that these are not in any specific order, and there is no judging in any of these. If you’re experiencing them, fine. Most of these I have been through myself at some point and have seen many men deal with. As always, entirely my opinion.

1) Cockiness

A product of the pick up community, I think a lot of guys feel they need to be ‘too cool for school’ in order for a woman to like them. This stems from thinking that you’re not enough, that you have no value, that you can’t imagine why a cool girl would possibly like you for you. People always read the person doing the communication more than the communication itself. I call this subconscious communication. So unless you’re naturally cocky, desperate attempts to be so will be seen through at best, annoying most often, and insulting at worst. And not the cool kinda insulting where you ruffle people up, more likely just the ‘you’re a social idiot, please get away from me now’ type of insulting. As discussed in the talk, don’t change who you are, and if you naturally enjoy taking the piss, please continue. I do :-) But drop the ‘negs’ and need for cockiness. The woman/women that are perfect for you will be very similar to you. So don’t fuck it up with them by trying to be something that you’re not. Read more

How Do You Stay Outcome Independent?

Question …

Hey Chris.

I just have a quick question for you.

How do you stay outcome independent with girls?

I know that you are supposed to have a life purpose, and that gives you un-reactivity, but if your job is being a coach, how do you stay non-needy to their reactions/responses?

How do you not have your entire sense of self worth riding on if you have a good or bad night?

I ask because my main focus in life at the moment is improving with girls. 

Thanks a lot! 

[hr]

Ok,

A few things come to mind. Read more

The Journey

The wrapping vs. the present. Most of my coaching is about finding yourself, facing your demons, learning to be happy with yourself as you are, or at least accepting it, developing self-worth, self-belief, looking past the social bullshit matrix and finding some kind of path in this crazy fucking life. The countless approaches, interactions, closes, dates, sex, all of that, is merely the best vehicle by which that self discovery is transported to you. You can’t learn this by reading or by talking about it – you learn it only by literally putting your balls on the line, going out to push through your comfort zone, by taking risks, by DISCIPLINING yourself.

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Demystifying “Pick-Up” (Guest Post)

My friend Sebastian Callow, owner and operator of London’s Authentic Man Within, shares my thoughts on the concept of ‘pick up’ (and the industry) being typically way over complicated and unnecessary. Here he outlines how a “PUA” would breakdown him meeting a girl, rather than what actually happened (infield video).

Demystifying “Pick-Up” (+Infield Breakdown)

Woman eating

First of all, it’s not “pick-up”.

When you’re hungry you go pick-up a sandwich from the delicatessen and when you want to read the news you pick-up a newspaper from the corner shop

Read more

Approaching and Casual Dating (Seminar)

Here are some summary points for my talk for my Meetup group – The Melbourne Attract Amazing Women Group – last week. A lot was covered but primarily, through demand, were the topics of approaching and casual dating.

Approaching

  • Your mindset is the most important thing in approaching. Without a good mindset, positivity, persistence and patience, knowing that this is a PROCESS – you will ultimately never get anywhere.
  • What you want overall is to be a better, stronger man, with more confidence and a better life – and THAT is more important right now than any particular girl that you might be wanting to talk to. Approaching is a snap-shot of how you deal with life – how you deal with dating improvement will reflect how you deal with life – don’t approach for the girl, approach to improve yourself and to become stronger.

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Top 10 Mistakes Men Make in Dating

This post appeared as a guest post from myself on the Reality Chick website.

1. Not taking action

I don’t believe in the “It will happen when you least expect it” mentality. For every person finding love in an unexpected hour, there are hundreds, thousands, who are not. If you want to date more, you need to do something about it. It sounds obvious right? But a lot of single men simply are not opening themselves up to meeting women. Go out to bars, smile at the woman in the supermarket, join social classes, go to Meetup events, jump online – if you want to date more, you need to do something about it.

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Don’t Be Too Demanding For Sex

Question – “I went on a date last night and we ended up at my place. Tops came off and despite my efforts, she wouldn’t sleep with me, even though she seemed comfortable with me. What could I have done differently? Appreciate your thoughts”

My answer – If she was at your house, and she was comfortable with you – I don’t think you should have done anything differently. It’s clearly not over.

I wouldn’t push too hard. I find the more pressure on someone to do something, the less chance they will do it, and not necessarily because they don’t want to, but because they then feel pressured and awkward.

Comfort is the key word here.

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Making The Best Of What You Have

Hi all,

Hope you’re all well and are prepped for the Festive season (Spring Carnival, Christmas parties, etc), where even your otherwise crappy bars and pubs are flooded with TONS of lovely women (For all those who believe that you could never meet a quality girl in a bar – *cough* total bullshit – now is your chance to get out and meet many who rarely go out).

This is a post about making the best of what you have. I heard it best from a client just the other day – “Attitude is king!”

The question/comment came from a lovely female client of mine who said …

“It’s depressing that men are so interested in looks”

Read more