Blog - Page 6 of 7 - Melbourne Dating, Pick-up (PUA) And Lifestyle Coaching

Confidence vs. Courage

Confidence is HUGELY overrated. Everyone talks about confidence as though it’s the magical elixir to dating success – “Just be confident”, “Oooh he is so confident”, “Women like confidence”, “It’s ok for you, you’re confident”, “I’m just not confident” … Confidence is bullshit. Our assumption of ‘confidence’ is that one awakes one morning, naturally brimming with an unwavering certainty that one can absolutely do something, or anything. In dating you’re battling thousands of years of evolutionary biology and psychology demanding that you’re socially accepted, and hundreds of years of social conditioning telling you to stay in your box. Don’t wait to be confident, it’s an illusion. Be courageous. THAT’S what it’s all about. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, it’s feeling the fear and still moving forward, still taking steps to get what you want. That my friends, is ‘confidence’. You can’t just decide to be confident, nullifying the “Just be confident” advice, but you don’t have to be! You CAN decide to be courageous. You CAN decide that the outcome is worth the effort. Fake confidence is see through and a turn off. Opting for courage is much more congruent, and I would say that congruence is ultimately more important in dating than confidence.

If your dating life could use a kick-start, or if you want to really ramp up your game, book a session today.

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How many women should I approach?

Question – “I want to improve my approaching, so I’ve committed to doing 50 approaches a week. Is this a good idea?”

Answer – Although the determination is admirable, unfortunately, personally I don’t believe that it’s a great idea. 50 approaches a week is not maintainable, nor does it sound very enjoyable. It will likely put undue stress on you for ‘failing’, and IF you do manage to reach that amount, you’ve probably just clocked them up for the numbers, with no oomph or intent behind them. One solid approach is worth way more than five half-arsed approaches. Personally I don’t like the idea of counting approaches – it seems too systematic to me. But some of my friends who are great with women do, so it’s not my place to say that it doesn’t work.

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Don’t Overthink Dates

I just thought I would share some thoughts on a question that I see a fair bit. Paraphrased from a dating forum – “I’m getting good at approaching now, and getting numbers, but I’ve been on two dates and have not heard back from either. They seemed quite interested when we met, but on the date – even though I used good conversation tactics, kept them interested by talking about interesting things, I understand and use body language, use good kino and touch often, but still can’t find my hook point. And neither of the two dates I’ve heard back from. Any tips?

My thoughts …

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Online Dating Tips for Dummies (Guest Post)

(This is a guest post by our friends at be2 Online Dating)

Why have we created a list of Online Dating Tips for Dummies? Obviously we don’t think readers are dummies, but we do think that trying out online dating for the first time can make you feel like a bit of a dummy, so we decided to put together this foolproof list of tips and ideas to make getting started a bit easier.

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10 Keys to Successful Dating

Happy couple embracing and laughing on the beach

1) Improve the way that you look

It’s really that simple – if you want better responses, from more women, you might just need to look better. If you think that’s shallow, that’s fine, but that’s the reality of dating. Now, looks are obviously not everything, but combined with the below points, looking your best will have you in prime position for more lovin’. It might be time to update your clothes, making sure that they fit well (guys notoriously wear things too big). Get your hair professionally styled. Use a moisturiser for a younger visage. Be sure that your teeth are looking as best as possible (teeth are very important). If you’re not quite as toning as you could be, commit to the gym. Improving your dating success means improving yourself as a whole.

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Finding People To Go Out With

Hi all,

I just wanted to quickly address something that I get a lot, and that is guys struggling to find other likeminded guys to go out with. I find that the situation can be most often broken down like this:

1)Younger guys who have developed an interest in improving themselves at an age where their friends are more interested in smashing shots at the bar all night.

2)Guys in their mid-20s to mid-30s who might find it tough to approach and meet new people without being questioned on it by their regular friends.

3)Older people whose friends are all married or settled and have no interest in going out socialising.

So firstly, I will say to not use this as an excuse to never get out there. If you really want this, be it for the growth, and/or partner(s), you will find a way. It’s easy to find an excuse and then cling to it because despite the “Just get out there and have fun!” mentality, most people will secretly agree that going out, getting into it and putting your balls on the line, weekend after weekend, can be a pain in the arse.

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Interview with The Real Online Game

I was recently interviewed by online dating expert Joshua Pompey. In it I discuss common mistakes, and simple practical advice on approaching and conversing.

Check it out here:



If your dating life could use a kick-start, or if you want to really ramp up your game, book a session today.

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How To Get Over A Break Up And Date Again

A situation that I am being asked about a lot lately is “I’ve just broken up with someone and I’m trying to get back out there, but I’m really struggling”

I don’t know why, but it seems to be the breakup season. In the last couple of months I’ve come across this situation probably 8-10 times. Maybe it’s a summer thing, I don’t know, but I’ve spoken to a lot of people who are confused by their subsequent vanished ability in the dating world.

I think the key thing to remember here is that you’re healing. A very good friend once said to me when I was in a similar situation – “You’re trying to run a race with a broken leg” There is this concept that we hear a lot which is that you should just man up, get back out there and hook up with someone else. OK, there is nothing wrong with that, and I agree that it can be pretty effective, but from what I most often see, rarely does it happen that simply.

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