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Meeting Women During The Day

One of the biggest myths in the dating world is that you need to go out to bars or clubs to meet women. You obviously, definitely, can meet women this way, it’s the timeless classic – going out to pick up! – but it’s not your only option. And no I’m not talking about online dating, I’m talking about meeting women during the day.

But where!?

Today, or tomorrow, when you leave the house, just do one thing. Simply, look up. Pay attention to what is around you. Watch who walks past you on the street, look at more in the stores than the items for sale, lift your head from the newspaper on the train platform, get out of the office on your lunch break – just look around. You will notice something – yep, women are everywhere! And let me tell you one thing – every one of them that is single, is very likely in the same boat as you – really wanting to meet someone, but struggling to find the time, opportunity or ability to do so. Read more

Dealing with Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety is undoubtedly the main problem for most guys when it comes to being able to talk to girls. If you can resolve that, the rest will simply and eventually fall into place. If you’re trying to “cure” and rid yourself of AA, my guess is that it’s going to be a constant and frustrating battle. We as social beings will always be concerned of what others think of us, regardless of how many times you hear “Don’t worry what people think of you” or how many times you say “I don’t give a shit what people think of me”, and thus approaching/hitting on a stranger and putting your balls on the line will always carry with it some degree of apprehension.

The best way to “fix” approach anxiety is to change your beliefs about it. Here are some thoughts:

It’s not ever completely going away, and the sooner you accept it, the better

I would have approached well over 5000 women in my time, and I STILL feel approach anxiety. BUT, I have simply taught myself to work WITH it. Personally I don’t believe people when they say they never feel AA, nor do I believe pickup marketers who offer fixes. I often see guys getting down on themselves because they feel their AA as some sort of disease which they cannot cure themselves of (which of course breeds more negativity and more anxiety). When you start to accept AA as completely normal, and something that arises not because of your own disability but just something that human beings in general feel in that specific situation, you start to feel a lot calmer and self-accepting. That’s when you feel more strength to work THROUGH it, rather than against it – “OK, I feel anxious, it’s natural, what am I going to do now?” is much better more helpful than “Why am I feeling this, what is wrong with me?”

 

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